Working with Patti was a gift to me, my body, my family and mostly my children. Sadly 4 years ago after the birth of my second beautiful daughter, I experienced severe and very troubling post natal depression and anxiety. It manifested as insomnia and hyper vigilance after an unwanted delivery via c-section (during the pandemic).

 

I had a fear of being with her at night and felt an enormous amount of responsibility to be in charge of 2 humans. I am a sensitive soul (which i’d never acknowledged) despite feeling things greatly most of my life. To give birth during a pandemic and then to come home and be in charge of 2 little ones whilst recovering from major surgery (and whilst my husband continued working at a frantic pace) and all that entails, I quickly realised I was not coping.

 

We had breast feeding issues which led to me pumping every 3 hours. The hyper vigilance started, the inability to relax, the perfectionism and comparison arrived (how could I not breastfeed this daughter after 2 perfect years with her sister??). Wow when I look back, how very hard I was on myself but it’s not surprising something broke. Where did these standards come from? Me, society, my own mother? I felt lonely yet I was never alone. I felt bored but i’d never been more manic.

 

Early motherhood is complex especially in this modern world. I was terrified and it continued and continued for months. I was put onto medication, none of it helped. We were at a loss.

 

As Christmas approached, I realised I couldn’t carry on. Despite having a community mental health nurse, the support did not feel enough. The support at home also did not feel enough. I made the incredibly hard yet brave decision to be admitted to an MBU as a voluntary patient.

 

Here i stayed on and off for 27 days with my baby daughter.

 

It was traumatic yet it was the beginning of my healing journey. I learned and realised I could look after my daughter (despite tremendous guilt for leaving my older one behind). I was put onto new medication that slowly started to help and the doctors weaned me off my sleeping pills (i’d become quickly dependent on). I started to practice and use my own tools again - everyday I rolled about my yoga mat whilst my baby girl slept. Inside the MBU I started to be able to read and watch TV again and I found breathwork (which soon became a daily ritual).

 

I started to recover. I contracted covid in the MBU and we made the difficult decision that I would be discharged rather than sit alone in isolation for 10 days.

 

I came home and started to rebuild my life. However the trauma, the horror of the last 8 months was still at the forefront of my mind and i felt it deeply in my body and nervous system.

 

And then in walked Patti….

 

Patti and I worked together to release the trauma and terror of this experience. We talked, we tapped, I meditated, I rested. I invested big time into my healing financially but it was the greatest gift I could give myself.

 

Talking therapy had not been helping as it took me to the mind.

 

The beauty of working with Patti is the work combines talking therapy, body work and deep trauma release from the nervous system. Patti has the voice of a South African angel - she made me feel safe in my body and me again. I know that I have done the work myself but Patti was my gentle, loving guide.

 

I am forever grateful for the work we did together. I have so much more joy in my parenting and my life now. I honestly believe I have become a better version of myself through my traumatic experience but definitely due to my work with Patti.

 

Today I live a life that is full and much more authentic. My boundaries are firmer, some relationships have slipped away. I teach and share yoga and breathwork in London, with up to 10 classes a week and am able to fit that in around being available for every school drop off and pick up as I want to be as present and connected to my young daughters as possible.